I came across this book by happy chance. Or divine providence! And it has truly changed my life. It has changed the way I think and talk to everyone. It is an easy read and has some great illustrations.
According to the authors, it is possible to create boundaries with children while maintaining their self-esteem. One of the most important things I gained from reading the book is my role in helping young people name their feelings. They outline common pitfalls and many solutions. Most of the examples are for school age children, but I read this when my son was 18 months and started using this principles right away.
While I loved the concept, I wasn't sure I could use it with a toddler who did not speak much and didn't listen as much as I would have liked either. But sure enough when he was having a tantrum on the floor, I would name his feelings (anger or sadness). He would stop crying and come for a cuddle. We managed to skip the terrible twos altogether! Now that my son is four he is even able to reason out problems and solutions with his friends at school, and even his disagreements with us. I am by no means the perfect parent after reading this, but I continue to try out these techniques with children with success.
I have also found the ideas helpful in my work and in my relationships with friends. I have been lending the book to colleagues and friends for years. In fact I have finally ordered a copy just to be used at work. And when I told my sister about the book, she said that she already read it because her daughter's school asked all the parents to read it.
This book is also available on amazon.co.uk, which is where I purchased it four years ago.