Birth Plans

During my last pregnancy my carefully planned birth plan went out the window as I went into premature labour and wasn't allowed things like water births, midwife-led units...etc.  And although I am happy to have a healthy son and a healthy me, I admit I was a bit disappointed how it all panned out. 

I so wanted things to be different this time around and thought I would do some research into ways to cope in natural childbirth.  I investigated home births, hiring birthing pools, Hypnobirthing, Natal Hypnotherapy, Active Birth and Homeopathy. 

But the best laid plans can go awry as have mine--again. 

I am not necessarily against medical interventions.  Ideally I could give birth under the moonlight with a wise woman and my mother, but the reality is that I am bit too squeamish--or nervous for that!  I like the security that a hospital provides, especially since I experienced some complications last time and needed to head to the operating theatre shortly after the birth.  I know full well that the glaring lights and strangers in hospital have been proven to slow labour down as soon as a woman walks in the door.  I also know that walking through the door can lead to all sorts of medical interventions which may or may not be needed.  But I can tell you that when a doctor tells you that you need to have some medical intervention in order to save your baby or yourself your ideals fly out the window and you simply want for a healthy baby.  It is all that matters in the whole world at that moment.

A few months ago I was told that a homebirth was not advisable due to the complications I had last time.  I was okay with this.  I did say I was nervous about the idea.  I was told a while back that there was a small chance that I would need a c-section due to a "low-lying placenta,"  which thankfully has corrected itself.  But now I have been told that in order to prevent problems with my baby I may need to be induced in the next few weeks.

This could mean a premature baby.  But apparently this is preferable to the complications which could arise if she stays in much longer.  While I await further testing and decisions, I am filled with worry, but also quite grateful for the advances in medicine which will give us the best possible chance of health for both of us. 

With an induction I can still use my Natal Hypnotherapy and Birth Skills, and Active Birth, as long as the induction is successful.  And I am still holding out hope that everything will be fine and I can go ahead with a completely natural birth.  So all is not "lost."  We will just have to wait and see what happens!

Two Months Left

So I am due to have a baby in seven weeks.  Well, I think due dates are so approximate---my first was three weeks early.  This one could technically come a couple of weeks late...though I would prefer a teensy bit early of course!

I am not sure how ready I am.  In my typical fashion I have made an enormous, insurmountable, unachievable, pipe dream to do list involving cleaning, sorting, gardening, sewing, making all of my own homemade toiletries and cleaning products....well, ok I am realistic enough not to have put that on my list.  But there is something that happens when a new person is coming along which makes you want to have a clean, welcoming home.  And loving family traditions.  And natural, eco friendly products, a pureness....you want to stop swearing and arguing so much, create an oasis of calm and order.  I even want to get rid of half of the toys we already have--even though they will come in handy soon enough!

I think this "nesting" instinct is a great thing and I think this is a great time of year to do it.  I have been going through boxes of papers which were meant to be filed etc over the years only to find that I could recycle half of them.  I have purged the kitchen cupboards getting rid of stale flours and making room for new healthy and wholesome foods.  I have emptied out the airing cupboard and gotten rid of extra sheets, blankets and pillowcases I will never use.  I have been sorting the old baby clothes and donating the boy stuff to people who can use it (I hope).  And I even managed to convince my Other Half to get rid of a whole bin bag full of clothes, which is quite an accomplishment let me tell you!

I have no idea how much of my list I will get through.  Still feeling so sick each day makes it difficult to do much of anything for more than an hour or two at a time.  And I think that digging in the garden will have to wait until I am not so cumbersome and my lungs are not being squashed by a creature the size of a honeydew (currently).

But I also worried abut being emotionally ready, both personally and as a family, to make room for a new person.  We need to get through sleepless nights and extra laundry, but also adjust to the attention a little one demands.  How will the older siblings manage having to adjust to parents with yet another distraction?  While I hope that we have raised loving and understanding kids, I won't hold my breath! 

I hope that we will continue to grow through the experience.  Both as individuals and as a family unit.  I believe that having children is a very good way to learn about yourself, to develop an even deeper understanding of love, to improve communication, to practice tolerance, to promote life skills, and deepen our spiritual connections.  And so I plug away at my list, hoping to complete some of it before she comes, and full of hope for a happy future for our family.

Packing for Hospital

I can remember clearly someone warning me to pack my bag early because she had a premature (and thankfully healthy) baby.  So I started on my bag when I was 8 months pregnant.  But I couldn't put everything in because I was still using my pajamas, big dark underwear, and my toothbrush.  Well when my waters broke at 36.5 weeks it was a mad scramble to get everything ready and into the car! 

In our ante-natal classes, the midwife told us that we would only need one day's worth of items.  I was in hospital for seven days altogether and had to not only ask my partner to bring items, but I had to ask a friend to purchase the car seat, more maternity pads, more underwear and pajamas (since mine were in the wash). 

So I am going to do a proper job of it this time.

There isn't much storage space in hospitals and you will likely get moved around a time or two.  So you actually need to have two or maybe three bags for your average labour.  You will need one bag for labour.  The other bag can contain items if you need to stay longer.  This second bag and the car seat can be kept in the car.  Then send your birth partner out for them when needed.  (If you don't have a car, you will still need a car seat if you are using a taxi to get home.  But you will also have to lug everything with you).

Labour bag:

Hand held notes and Birth Plan
Phone and charger
Camera
Music--ipod, cds or tapes

Lip balm
Hair scrunchies
Comfy clothes to go home in (or you can wear what you wore to come in)
Snacks for you and birth partners:  juice boxes, nuts, cereal bars, biscuits
Entertainment:  newspaper, magazines, etc---birth partner might get bored with long waits
Massage balm/oil
socks
slippers/slip on shoes
maternity pads
Nursing bra
Dark, cheap or disposable underwear

Hat
Sleepsuits x 2
Vests x 2
Nappies x 5
(you are advised against using baby lotions, soaps, powders and wipes for the first three months due to baby's delicate skin)
blanket



Optional:
Nightdress---using the hospital gown for labour means less laundry for you when you get home
Makeup---I hear this is important to lots of women....
Flannel/wash cloths


Check with your hospital about:

bottles
formula
nappies
Cotton wool

After-birth Bag

Pack light and ask someone to take away your dirty laundry each day and bring you more items.

Toiletries:
toothbrush and toothpaste
brush
soap, shampoo, conditioner
lip balm
makeup (optional)
deodorant
lotion
antibacterial wipes
witch hazel---to soothe your sore bits
nipple cream
maternity pads

pajamas
or button down nightdress (if breastfeeding)
dark, cheap or disposable underwear
Nursing Bra
Breast pads
socks
slippers/slip on shoes
cardigan or robe
book/magazines
snacks
notebook and pen
comfy clothes

sleepsuits
vests
nappies
hats

Good thing I am skint...

because I have been looking at the Babykind website researching the new nappy systems out there.  A lot has changed over the last four years!  I am so confused about what to get to augment my favourite motherease nappies...(if you read my post on cloth nappies you will know I started using cloth nappies when my son was a month old and didn't get on with my first set, so I need to get something to fit my baby for the first couple of months).

And while I was there I was searching around the site because it has been  a while.  So now I feel I want one of their new wetbags, their changing bag/baby carrier (check it out), fairtrade dolls (can't find mixed race dolls easily for my kids), babybits to make my own wipes solution, natural nappy rash creams and soaps, and cleansing pads.  I was planning to buy more of their cloth menstrual pads, but have thankfully decided to make my own. 

It is really too bad that we don't have baby showers in the UK!

Bloomin' Pregnancy

I definitely ordered a healthy, stress-free pregnancy this time around.  And I am usually happy with Amazon's service, but I will definitely be filling out my customer feedback form!!!

My younger brother and sisters used to watch Perfect Strangers on TGIF.  I had to babysit so many Fridays and had to sit through many episodes.  There is only one episode which sticks out in my mind and probably will forever.  The main characters were two cousins who lived together and evetually married the two women who lived upstairs.  When the women became pregnant, one of them bloomed.  She glowed.  She was happy and carefree.   The other woman was miserable.  She was grumpy and couldn't understand why she had such a rough time while her friend was cheery.  I was a teenager and right then and there I decided that if I ever became pregnant I would have the glowing version for sure. 

Before my first pregnancy I bought in to the Hollywood version of pregnancy.  The above episode was one of the few negative portrayals of pregnancy I had ever seen.  I think for most of us, pregnancy looks like this:

A busy, working woman unknowingly becomes pregnant and carries on symptom free until she starts throwing up in the mornings.  Unconcerend she carries on with her day job until a colleague makes a joke about pregnancy.  After a bit of shock and/or excitement, she carries on, eventually becoming ravenously hungry and eating out the house until she becomes so big that she has a bit of backache.  Then one day when she is shopping, or in the middle of an argument with her husband, her waters gush all over the floor.  Then there is a mad dash to the hospital where she screams a lot until a beatiful baby is delivered and all is forgotten.

Overall, pregnancy looks to be ok.  Shopping for baby stuff is fun, morning sickness isn't too disruptive, and your skin glows.  Labour is scarey and treated like an emergency situation, but the lead up can be quite pleasant.

When I started reading pregnancy books during my first pregnancy I was shocked to find what I had in store.  My favourite was The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.  I was told to expect nausea all day, piles, backache, peeing a lot, acne, lack of appetite, and long labours unlike the Hollywood version. 

Even so when I became pregnant with my son I was not quite prepared for 8 months of nausea, cramping, bleeding, peeing ALL of the time, loose ligaments causing backache, heartburn, inability to sleep through the night (despite constant fatigue during the day), and premature labour.

Despite my strong love for my son and the inevitable feeling that "it was all worth it in the end," it took several years before I was willing to try it again.  I did some research this time.  I took heart in the fact that I knew people who were sick for the first pregnancy and not for the second.  I bought lots of vitamins and read about healthy diets preventing nausea. 

When I felt armed and ready I decided to go for it and became pregnant within the week.  I went off coffee straight away, and everything started smelling strong.  I fell asleep on the couch at the drop of a hat.  I felt these were good signs and took my pregnancy test.  Positive.  Yeah!  And beyond fatigue no symptoms.  I told work at 6-7 weeks and filled out my risk assessment.  And I was feeling ok.  And then it hit.  Nausea.  It is constant, unrelenting, and debilitiating.  I am at week 20 and it has eased only slightly.

I have tried ginger, peppermint, sea bands, dry crackers, eating small meals frequently, B6, magnesium, taking prenatals, not taking prenatals, eating fruit and veg, ginger ale, lemonade, resting, going out to distract myself, meditation, postiive thinking, and prayer.  I would like try homeopathy and accupuncture, but my wages have taken a hit since being off sick for so long and I cannot afford them now.

I still live in hope that it will clear up this time.  That I will feel better soon and start to bloom.  There are some days I even feel that it is happening, but then I end up in bed for the next two.  Oh, well.  It is worth it in the end!!

It's a Girl

I had my twenty week scan today and found out that I am having a girl.  I was so convinced that I was having a boy this time.  Mostly because I have a boy, so it is easier to imagine!  It was so amazing watching her suck her thumb.  And looking at the different organs, watching her kick.  Here in the UK we usually get two scans.  One at twelve weeks and one at about twenty weeks to check for possible problems.  And it was such a relief to hear the sonographer say that the baby looks good!

So I might have some shopping to do!  I have been saving all of my son's clothes and toys.  Many of his clothes were handmedowns from my nephews.  They have been such a relief to a cash strapped mother.  I have had a few offers of some more handmedowns if I have a girl and I am very willing to accept.  I know mothers who want to have a few new things or some things they have chosen themself. That is not me.  I am too practical to turn down items and I have been fortunate in receiving nice things so far.  Now I need to head to the attics to go through my boxes of boy things, see if I can use any for a girl, and pass on my boy stuff to the charity shops.  I will have a quick check with my friends, but I don't know anyone who is having a boy any time soon.  It will give me some time to enjoy one of my favourite pasttimes---decluttering!  I have been so diligent saving these items (and lending them out, getting them back, packing away again in labelled boxes).  But now I can pass them on---another favourite pasttime.